Top Advice

Welcome!

Here we have some advice we’ve gathered over the years, whether you want to know how to be a good ally or if you’re trans or non-binary yourself.

There’s also a bunch of youtube vids below with some great honest advice and experiences

Hi, Milo here!

What I’m going to be writing here is a sort of gender guide that someone struggling to define their gender can follow to help figure themselves out, or even label themselves (which isn’t a thing you need but we’ll get to that…)

Top tips for being an Ally

Remember that expression, gender, sex and sexuality are all completely different things – try not to get them muddled up!

Get the right pronoun! Make that effort, especially if someone’ pronouns have recently changed – it makes a huge difference

If you get the wrong pronoun, just apologise and move on, there’s no need to make a big hairy deal about it

If you’re really not sure, then just ask! Assuming you actually know them… Asking random people in the street is a tad weird…

Don’t ask if someone’s had “the surgery”. For starters, there isn’t just one surgery trans people might be interested in. And then asking what’s going on under someone’s clothes isn’t really on either

Try not to treat that one trans or non-binary person you know as your own personal Gender Wiki – look stuff up for yourself too

Don’t “out” someone without their permission – at best it’s rude and at worst it might be dangerous for that person

Top tips is you’re trans or non-binary

Do what you can to meet other people your age and just talk. In Greater Manchester there’s a lot of youth groups you can find on our “stuff near me” page and there’s online forums you can join (anonymously) too (they’re in our “links” section)

Come out in your own time – don’t let anyone rush you before you’re ready

Don’t feel like you have to be a fountain of knowledge for every gender related issue or suddenly be a representative for the whole community – it’s your journey, no one else’s and there’s plenty of resources you can direct people to if you need to.

Remember it’s a learning curve for other people. If someone’s being unpleasant then by all means get mad (!) but be patient if people make honest mistakes about your gender too.

If your school, college, uni or workplace aren’t changing their records to reflect your gender identity or name then you can read about your rights on Gendered Intelligence’s “Knowledge is Power” pages www.genderedintelligence.co.uk. There is no lawful reason they can’t change their records!