Don’t you just hate it when people ask the question “How did you know you were gay?” It’s just a weird question to me because I didn’t exactly just think “I’m gay” just like straight people don’t think “hey I’m straight”.
When I was in year 4, I was walking home from school with my mum and I always used to see this guy and I always used to find him so cute, I didn’t know then, and still don’t, where those feelings came from. That was the first time I had felt that way.
Soon after primary school, I went to high school and told the first person I was talking to about being gay and she was very accepting, everything seemed okay except from some bullying that happened to me. Up until year 8 I think people were quite accepting of everyone. The start of year 8 is when most of the bad things happened, one day my ‘best friend’ was homophobic. I won’t repeat what she said but it sickened me to know that my best friend of 11 years had said this. She used to call me homophobic names when we used to argue.
During the year I thought that I liked this girl at one point and I told some people and word got around and people came up to me asking me about that but I just ended up denying it.
In year 9 I started getting in trouble and skipping class to go to the park with my friend because school was stressing me and I was lonely, I kept getting sent home, having detentions, getting excluded and my parents having to come into school for meetings. I even had to go to another school for 2 weeks respite it got that bad when my anxiety and depression got worse.
But since attending Q42, I’ve met more people and had more opportunities such as going to different places that I never would have had the chance to if I didn’t attend this group! The group had given me a better understanding on life as well as the LGBT+ community. If you reading this are going through things, or just don’t know what’s going on, it will get better! Although I’ve not reached the light at the end of the tunnel just yet, it will be okay!
After all these years, I still don’t know how I found out I was gay and I don’t think I ever will!